War

"Mom, what would happen if the enemy we are at war with dug a tunnel all the way through the earth into our country?"

"Marek, what country are we at war with?"

"I don't know. Aren't we at war with somebody?"

Hmmm. Are we at war with someone? Is there a correct answer to this question? Since I discontinued my Newsweek subscription due to a constant stream of depressive and over reactive news, I have no idea what is really going on in the world. And I kind of like it like that.

So I sidestep. "Any country that we are not on good terms with is on the other side of the earth. It would be impossible for our enemy to dig all the way through the planet and invade us."

"What if they use a country that is right next to our country?"

"Canada or Mexico?"

I envision a giant tunnel going under the border of Mexico for invasion of the U.S. I can't see it. Perhaps it might come in handy for illegal immigration though.

"Marek, no one is going to tunnel under our borders to invade us. It is just not effective."

"What if the people drop down out of airplanes?"

Well, this one might be more feasible... but "Marek, our country has a huge system of technology set up to tell us if any danger is approaching." I am reassuring, but I am also thinking of Pearl Harbor and 9-11 and the recent New York bomb scare. Could we be invaded without detection? Aren't invasion attempts happening all the time?

"So Colorado where we live, is in the middle of the country. So enemies would have a hard time getting to us?"

"Yes." I don't mention our proximity to NORAD buried beneath Cheyenne Mountain.

"So we live in the safest place in the United States."

"Yes."

Last week just as I was leaving Marek's school from my classroom volunteering, our city began testing the tornado sirens. It was 10am, siren testing hour, so it didn't really even phase me. I just kept walking. But then a programmed voice on a loudspeaker joined in the whine. I could not quite understand what was being broadcast, but it was declared over and over for the whole neighborhood to pick up. I suddenly had a slight nagging worry in the back of my head. What if something was really wrong? For some reason I was not thinking of tornadoes. I was thinking more about a nuclear attack. What if this was a nuclear attack? Should I run back to the school to be with my son for our final moments? Or should I head to my friend's house who was looking after Oscar and Tildy?

Instead, I checked out a couple of car drivers. Surely they had the radio on. They did not look panicked or hysterical. So I continued on my journey home, and even managed to forget this flitter of insecurity as I mapped out my use of child free time.

But what if?

I am old enough to have lived through the end of the cold war. But I never seriously worried about enemy invasion when I was young - my fears were more realistically centered on fire and tornadoes. My entire life I have taken the security of our country for granted. Even after 9-11. I did not view this as part of a war. I viewed it at a huge, impactful, and life altering incident more akin to a natural disaster. A few judgemental people cause complete devastation, take countless innocent lives, and change the parameters of war forever.

Are we at war? Who are we at war with? And how is this war being fought? How do we aid this war and acknowledge this war? How do we explain this war to our kids? How is the unexplainable, explained?

Aren't we fighting a war every day? We are fighting a war of fear. We help this war every day just my living our lives with freedom and intention. I am aiding this war by still getting on a commercial airline flight even though I am now slightly phobic. I am fighting when I jog at night by myself. I am fighting when I allow Marek to attend public school and to walk home by himself. I am fighting when I skip our flu shots. I am fighting when we eat trick-or-treating candy, or talk with strangers in the park.

The world is a dangerous place. It always has been. It always will be. The dangers just keep on changing.

And yet, after any life altering event, a new rhythm is established. The fear dissipates and lightens until one day is just another ordinary day, and I am wondering what we should have for dinner.

"Are people dropping out of the sky to spy on us?" asks Marek.

I don't know, but I hope they're nice people that will contribute to our community while they're here.