Could Have, Should Have, Would Have

By some chance of fate, or planning, I am alone on the sidelines of Marek's soccer game. There are no other members of the Newton cheering squad. There is only me and peace and quiet amiss the noise and energy of the game with plenty of time to actually observe.

"Kick it! Keep going and kick the ball in, Mike. Okay, now go to the center, Jessie. Great save, goalie! That's yours, Marek! Throw the ball to Chewy's feet. Perfect." This is the voice of Marek's coach.

"You should have thrown the ball to the side. You should never thrown it down the center! Why didn't you pass that to David? He was totally open!" This is the voice of the other coach.

One coach is leading and teaching. The other coach is wishing things were different.

I try not to be critical of volunteer parents who are simply doing their best. But it makes me think, "What kind of "coach" am I?"

When Tildy fails to reach the potty again right when we are walking out the door, do I say, "Tildy, why couldn't you go in the potty?" I think I do.

Could have, should have, would have...

There is a time and place for analyzing our past mistakes. We all have them. Things we wish we had done differently. Things we wish we had never done at all. Things we wish we could change RIGHT NOW, but they are out of our present control. Or are they?

So we kicked the ball the wrong way. Can't we chase after it and turn it around and still score a goal? The past is what it is. It doesn't matter from what direction the ball comes, what matters is that it ends up in the goal.

A good coach knows this. A good coach will continue to encourage and lead until the season is over.

"You can put the pee in the potty, Matilda. And here is how you do it..."

Every time I walk out of my house to go for a jog, I am confronted by a choice: should I go to the left and go downhill first and uphill to come home, or should I go to the right and go uphill first and downhill on the way home?

I try not to beat myself up too much when I make the wrong choice.

If I have to, I just walk.