For Richer or Poorer

Out of the blue the other night at dinner, Marek popped out with, "Are we poor, Mommy?"

I was taken aback by the question, but in retrospect I appreciate his forthrightness. Most kids would just assume, "We are poor" or "We are rich" and base their belief on scientific data like how nice one's clothes are or how big one's house is or how often a trip to Australia is offered for spring break.

I tried to coolly but honestly answer him, "We are rich compared to some people, and we are poor compared to some people." Luckily for me, he accepted this and we moved on to more important questions like whether we might genetically alter a cow to produce chocolate milk.

We have been rich and we have been poor. That is one of the benefits of self employment - the ability to experience all of the colors of the rainbow financial spectrum. Lately for us, like so many right now, it's been tough. And on some level I just feel lucky to still be in business regardless of the profit margin.

I've thought a lot about wealth recently. Now I know I should be grateful for my health and my kids and finding the great love of my life, and trust me, I am. But money definitely makes things easier. It is sometimes really tense around here when we are waiting for a receivable to pay our utility bill. And the creative energy involved with making something out of nothing - or the nothing found in one's basement, can be tiring. Though I don't like to admit it, a lack of funds makes me yell more, makes me less present, makes me testier, and creates work for me (creative bill paying). It makes me think of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. And it makes me wonder about other people, because I know we are not alone.

A long time ago, a friend of mine commented on all the peanut butter sandwiches she lived on while we were dancing together. I'm sure I was oblivious to her repetitive diet and enjoyed my lavish deli sandwiches in front of her all the time. How often is this going on in our society and we are unaware?

In some ways I think challenging economic times are a good thing. Suddenly people are questioning their way of life. Are vacations in far away places a necessity? Is cable TV? Is a cell phone? Is a hair cut? But after one has cut all the fluff from the budget, then what? What if there is nothing left to cut except the deli sandwiches? How do you explain this one to your kids?

My sister told me recently that she felt poor while we were growing up. I was flabbergasted because I had the opposite experience. I felt like I was given so much. We always had trips (though in a car), new clothes, dance and gymnastic lessons. But she said it was the homemade bread and the solar panels and the recycling cans for cash all the time. She didn't understand these as lifestyle choices, and assumed it was because we were too poor to afford store bought bread.

As I make these same choices, in part because of the financial impact, but mainly because I think they are right, I must keep this in perspective. I must share my reasoning with my kids before they ask if we are poor or even worse, just assume we are poor for their whole life.

And what if we are poor? I can no longer equate being poor with a lack of intelligence or even a lack of education. Suddenly people I assumed to be in a great financial position are laid-off and having their house foreclosed on them. It seems to me that we are all just a hair breath away from being poor or being rich, and it is often just the way the cards fall. The cards can change. And life goes on...