Butt.....

We are in a very crowded elevator. The crowd includes the Newton clan plus several young friends, so our group alone can halfway fill an elevator. And it is the typical scene - the quiet of awaiting elevator touch down so we may disembark. The kids are all sucking on lollipops - this is really why it is quiet around us for a change. I am focused on noting floor numbers so so there is no confusion about when to exit. And then I hear it:

"My lollipop stick is a cigarette. I am smoking a cigarette."

My innocent, lovely child is making a joke about a cigarette! Have I taught him nothing! I thought I had pounded into all my children's heads that cigarettes are BAD, BAD, BAD and worse than the devil and that only stupid people smoke cigarettes (sorry if I am inadvertently calling you stupid, but if you're smoking cigarettes...).

And then we are at the correct floor, and we are rushing out of the elevator, or some of us are rushing, and the rest are meandering and I am trying to keep us all together, and the moment is over. And I am beginning to worry about the rest of my son's life because he is interested in cigarettes.

How did he even hear about cigarettes? Why are these on his mind?

I understand kids learn by play acting. I remember smoking candy cigarettes when I was little (and for the record, this is the only cigarette that ever touched my lips). But I also remember adults smoking everywhere when I was little. My parents did NOT smoke. But most of my Mom's six sisters and brother smoked and one of her good friends smoked so there was always smoking in the house at those late night gatherings. It was the seventies before the tobacco lawsuits. Of course there was smoking. But when have my children even witnessed anyone smoke a cigarette? I don't recall them smoking in Star Wars...

I was recently paging through a very old magazine I had kept in the basement for the purpose of craft when I happened upon an ad for cigarettes. I studied it for a while. I hadn't seen one of those in a long time. Are they even allowed anymore or am I just in the wrong magazine reading demographic now? Could my child have been influenced by advertising? Before he knows how to read?

I know people still do smoke, especially at late night events involving alcohol. And I will admit, every now and then I pass by someone smoking and smell a whiff and it smells GOOD. Perhaps they are smoking a brand of an old boyfriend or something, because usually I past by a smoker and think, "They could use a shower." But for the most part cigarettes are not even on my radar. Anti-smoking laws were past here way back when I was just a wee lass still frequenting late night establishments, so secondhand smoke hasn't even been an issue for me for a couple of lifetimes. Haven't we all started to worry about childhood obesity instead?

Well maybe the rest of the country has, but suddenly I am worried. I must spend the evening brainwashing my children while they are young and vulnerable. I am sure I only have a small window of time before it is too late; before they join a world so not understandable to me - the smokers.