How To Achieve Quiet In a House with Three Young Children

If I sit here long enough, quietly typing, I know our new household friend will soon peek out at me. I have seen him three times already today. He is very cute: small and brown and fuzzy and quick. When I last saw him sneaking steadily across the kitchen floor, I was so taken that for a moment I pondered keeping him around like our dog. But then I think of the soils in my bottom kitchen cupboard surrounding the dog treat box.

Our uninvited mouse friend has got to go.

It has been quite the winter for unwelcome rodents. We have killed at least fifteen. I have long ago lost count. I am guessing one of the rodents must have posted a "Mouse Motel" sign up somewhere on an external mouse door, because they just keep on coming. Luckily I accidentally ordered 120 mousetraps. The quantity on the internet said (1). It did not say they came in packs of four.

This new guy. He has actually been here for several weeks. I have set the usual traps. I hear him in there rustling around them. But I don't hear the traps snapping. This one is very smart. Or very lucky. In addition to being very cute. I am amazed that a mouse is even up and about in the daytime. This guy must never sleep. He is too busy celebrating the feast of crumbs left under our kitchen table.

When I pick up Marek from school today, I tell him of my mouse sightings. Marek is fascinated by the mouse. I hired Marek as an assassin. I hear Marek explain the difference between an assassin and a bounty hunter to Oscar. "A bounty hunter can bring someone back alive. Mom wants the mouse dead."

Marek and Oscar set to work at once upon arrival home. Marek began work on a bow and arrow yesterday, so this is the weapon they deem most effective for killing mice. They begin construction on another bow for Oscar with specialized arrows tipped with cheese. Unfortunately, I outlaw this weapon before it can be brought to trial. I envision cheese scraps all the over the house welcoming more mice.

I explain to the kids that the mouse only makes an appearance when it is very, very quiet. Only when everyone is asleep or out of the house will the mouse come out and forage and mock me. Me - I am obviously not viewed as any sort of threat. He is jeering at me for even trying to kill him with my mouse traps.

Marek and Oscar set up their hunter's camp.

The boys quietly drag their bedding out. Marek sets up a bed in the living room and Oscar in the kitchen so that all areas are guarded. They have their weapons at the ready. But they also bring out a pile of books each. I wonder if perhaps they mean to fool the mouse into believing they are engrossed in their reading and quiet. But they settle down and they really are - reading and quiet.

I don't know if I have ever experienced quiet in our house after school. I can't remember another occasion.

And so, the mouse serves a useful purpose after all. He keeps my kids quiet. Maybe I should keep him around.

"Snap!" Got him!

I wish.