In this vein, I contemplated simply posting my Christmas card here.
But then I couldn't do it.
The tradition. The tangible copy that can be hung on the wall. The physical signature. My hand indirectly touches your hand. So I did send out a Christmas card. To all but a few of you. The special few who I know will automatically have this posting downloaded into your life.
You are part of the experiment. Do we need physical Christmas cards any more? Let me know.
And so the Shortest Day came and the year died
And everywhere down the centuries of the snow-white world
Came people singing, dancing,
To drive the dark away.
- Susan Cooper (The Shortest Day)
It is a sunny day last August, and I am out of breath. It is like I remembered it – exhausting in an exhilarating way. I doggedly place one foot in front of the other and concentrate on filling my lungs deeply. Geoff is far in front of me. He has always been my Sherpa on our mountain hikes – though sometimes I feel like his Islamic wife the way I trail him. Nevertheless I am the birthday girl and it is my wish that I make it up this mountain. The world looks much simpler up here. One can break it down into basic necessities – being warm and dry, having air to breathe, food to eat and water to drink, the strength and health to ascend and descend. And Geoff and I make it even simpler. We leave the kids at home so we can hear the quiet. It has been over ten years and three children that I set out on such a physically challenging mission, and I am relieved that I can still handle it. I am forty years old on this August day – 2010 – and I celebrate by absorbing the infinite views on top of Mt. Bierstadt at 14,060 feet.
This year has been a turning point for me – on top of having a significantly middle aged birthday. I have always felt it takes a person two years to recover from childbirth and begin to regain strength and independent ambition. And now I have gone over three years! After Christmas and tax season last year I began to wonder what I should do with the rest of my life. Okay – I am still wondering, but I’ve put the feelers out in search of direction. I listed some custom paper dolls on Etsy (http://www.etsy.com/shop/macraft), and then started a blog (http://dandelionchain.blogspot.com/) to coincide with the shop. Turns out I like blogging a whole lot better. But unfortunately neither turns out to be much of a moneymaker. I still try to keep the blog going – it’s addicting! - but it has slowed to a trickle. Which is really too bad, because I have so much to SAY! I also started building on my bookkeeping experience from our business by doing work for some friends, which has grown into referrals. This seems to be a more practical way of contributing to the family pot, and I love that it’s concrete. I continue to expand my garden, but have reached my maximum in terms of personal environmental effort – I’m beginning to think maybe I should make life easier and buy more prepackaged food. If only it tasted as good. Mainly I am still a full-time Mom and life support for our business.
It has been a hard year for our small little metal work business. Geoff struggles on valiantly, but we are in construction after all, and suddenly people don’t want to buy $25,000 driveway gates quite so readily! We are lucky in that we have received a lot of support from friends, family, customers, and vendors, all who wish Geoff to experience success in his endeavors. It continues to be a struggle, and I was hoping Geoff might consider becoming a bus driver. We shall see.
Marek is in third grade this year. He is eight going on fifteen. I sure hope he is going through adolescence early, otherwise we might have some trouble in the years ahead. The other day he asked me what teenagers like to do. I answered, “They are all different. They all like to do different things.” And then I asked him, “What do eight-year-old boys like to do?” He answered, “Almost all of us are interested in battle.” I don’t know if this is true, but our household is filled with new interests that I never envisioned like bow and arrows, wrestling, tree climbing, pocketknives, and swordsmanship. With all this fierce energy simmering around me in our small house, I frequently command Marek to take a run around the block (“And take the dog with you!”) After I told him boxers jump rope, he started a callisthenic regimen. He also has been pursuing karate with rigor. I wish I could say he pursued his math and reading with such enthusiasm… Marek is awesome at building and drawing, and it is his greatest wish that he could help his Dad work “for real” in the shop.
Oscar started kindergarten this fall. How wonderful for me to escort a child of mine to the first day of school with a smile on both of our faces – the first in line at the door! He has met a great group of boys and is really having fun reading, writing, rhyming, and counting. Sometimes he tells me about the “trouble makers” at school. I’m not sure what this means in kindergarten, but I am glad not to find out! Marek and Oscar walk home alone from school together every day now, and I love living within the community and allowing them to experience this independence. Oscar has become one of those boys who delight in making an array of strange vocal noises ranging from spits and clacks to dolphin-like chirps. He still loves Legos and Star Wars, though he is shaped by Marek’s warmongering ways. Oscar is also quite an artist. He plays soccer and is learning to swim.
Matilda just turned three. She is a feisty girl having fought ninjas and Darth Vader for most of her conscious life. She will not allow me to dress her in clothes that she considers “too pretty.” Tildy is an organizer. Today I turned around and she was handing me dishes to put away from the clean dishwasher. Evidentially this task could not wait another instant. She likes to collect things in little Baggies and stash them in her room – her backpack is a treasure trove of missing household items. Tildy started swim lessons this fall, mainly so her mother could experience sitting by the pool by herself, but she LOVES taking part in the group and is already talking about going to kindergarten. Tildy loves reading and letters, riding her bike and playing with her friends.
“When can we go to Christmas?” Tildy’s question shapes my view of the holidays this year. It is a destination to arrive at – a world of warmth and wonder and abundance and joy. I am so in anticipation of this journey!
We hope your journey to Christmas, this year, and in life is filled with good things also.
Christa for the Newtons
December 2010
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