Rumble in the Walmart Parking Lot

Tildy and I are just leaving Walmart. She is barely visible sitting piled among our bags of household accruements. The cart bumpety-bumps along the blacktop and we are merry. We have just purchased many blue items for Tildy's blue tea party birthday on Saturday - blue jello, blue Gatorade, blue cotton candy, and blueberry tea, of course.

Suddenly and unexpectedly the car that we are right behind begins to back up. I do what any sane person would do in this circumstance. I back peddle while yelling loudly, "Stop! We are right behind you! You have to look before you back up!" And I cut the driver with my most scathing look, which my husband tells me, can be pretty frightening.

And does this driver do what any sane person would do in this circumstance? Like maybe apologize for almost just running over my daughter? That would be my expectation. That is what has happened in the past to me with incidences like this. But no. That does not happen today.

Today the driver of the vehicle stops the car, and gets out. Not to make sure we are okay. Oh, no. He gets out of the car to intimidate me and make sure I see who I am yelling at. I look at this driver - he is young. Maybe he is a high school drop out. Maybe he is 25, I really can't tell other than he is furious and has one of those inverse ear holes and looks like he could maybe pull a weapon out of the car along with him, and not a foam sword weapon like my children's either.

I must admit I am also furious. It doesn't help this situation that careless drivers around pedestrians are a pet peeve of mine. Words are exchanged. Apparently this driver operates on his own rules and believes pedestrians should steer clear of cars that just happen to pull out when they are right behind them. I think he should go back and retake his driver's test. By the end I am scanning the parking lot for a police officer and wishing I had a cell phone.

But I let him have the last word. "Watch out for cars when you're walking!" I am shaking I am so angry, and we have attracted the attention of several friendly shoppers.

I am struck by the similarity of experience I once had while fighting over a parking place in downtown Fort Worth, Texas. A car knowingly crept in and stole a parking spot that we were obviously waiting for, and I began to roll down the window (yes, it was a while ago...) to exchanged heated words. My friend stopped me this time: "Let it go. Remember where you are. It is not worth it."

Wise words from someone who thought of the environment in the heat of the moment. After all, the high schools of Fort Worth have metal detectors. And this was BEFORE Columbine.

I do not usually run across gangsters in the middle of suburbia in the middle of the day. I know that our town does have some economic friction, but at the grade school levels where I spent most of my time, it is not yet obvious. There is still hope that we can teach our youth to talk out their problems instead of fighting out their problems. So to be so confronted is shocking to me.

I remember hearing about Columbine when it happened - a nice suburb just down the interstate - and wondering at the time how parents would be able to send their kids to school without fear after this incident. Years later, now that I have my own kids in school, I have found I have never really feared for their safety in this capacity. Sure I have worried they were being teased, or bullied, or overlooked, but I haven't worried about their physical safety, and this is odd, because I am a worrier. But in the moment, life is just life. How can it possibly go wrong?

Once when I went to pick up Marek from kindergarten, I found the school in lock down - all the doors were locked up tight and the blinds were drawn. No one could get in, and the pick up process was delayed until the school could sort through a problem. Even this did not phase me. Instead it actually reassured me, because, wow, the school really does have a plan in place to implement in abnormal emergency situations.

The car at Walmart backs away finally, and I spend what seems like minutes just staring at the car and its contents. I think they are thinking I am glaring at them - maybe I am - but really I am just trying to figure them out. The gangster is driving, and in the front is an older blond. His mother? His wife/girlfriend? Is this who he trying to impress with his discourtesy and recklessness? And why are they driving a nicer car than me? And in the back seat are two little boys. Are these his sons? His brothers, cousins? Is he role modeling? Are these future classmates of my children?

I think about those who live in the inner city and live with this friction every day - or at least as it is pictured in the movies, because, really, when have I ever seen it? But I imagine the helplessness - to know that one is in the right, but that the ignorant have the power.

"Let it go. Remember where you are. It is not worth it."

Obviously I could have used a friend next to me today, when the gangster stepped out of his car. It would have been wise to let him intimidate me. It would have been wise to step around his car, rudeness, and endangerment. But what if it happens again while the Mom pushing the cart is digging in her purse looking for her car keys?

Tildy is oblivious to the whole episode. She is still happy with thoughts of a blue tea party. We get home and she asks me, "Are you happy, Mommy? Because I'm happy."