The Tooth Fairy is Flighty

The tooth fairy forgot to come last night.

In defense of the tooth fairy, this was an unexpected trip. There was no loose tooth build up. Instead Marek pulled out a tooth while using his mouth as a Lego pry bar. He filed the tooth away under his pillow with dreams of extra loot due to the painful nature of its extraction. Instead he woke up and found - his tooth.

I knew instantly what had happened when Marek actually got out of bed on his own this morning. I didn't have to cajole and bodily pull all 55 pounds of him out of the top bunk. Instead he sadly walked out of his room carrying his tooth.

I said to Marek, "I guess the tooth fairy was really busy last night." (LAME!)
"Do you think he might visit during the day?"

"The night," was Marek's disappointed reply.

"Well put it back under your pillow, and maybe he'll come tonight."

Geoff says to tell him the tooth fairy couldn't get through because I-70 is closed due to a landslide. The landslide is keeping Geoff from getting where he needs to go today.

I think the tooth fairy will need to leave a note of apology tonight and perhaps an extra reward for his/her thoughtlessness.

This is when I am glad that such things as the tooth fairy exist. I won't take the blame for this one for a while. Perhaps this is why they were invented?

Dead Things: Ode to my Dad

"The yellow fish is dead."

I announced this important news to the Newton family when I turned the light on the fish tank this morning. Death in my home is a shock to me. No one else seems very interested. Geoff tries to give me a kind glance, but I can tell his coffee has his attention.

I am particularly disheartened by the loss of the yellow one. He had looked quite sickly last week, but had lately roused and had even been seen eating. And now his whispery carcass delicately wound round the filter. There was no question that his soul had moved on.

I should not be surprised by the lack of family interest in the loss of this fish. After all it is I who will be forced to remove its sad little fins from the aquarium. I often wonder if the other fish miss their dear departed, or if he just registers as plant life. I've had plenty of opportunity to wonder about the thoughts of fish on death. You could call our aquarium "death row" by the number of fish that have been executed within its habitat. You will notice that the yellow fish does not have a name. We hoped this might give him sustenance.

The first fish loss was buried in the backyard with words said for his soul. This one will join the last ten in fertilizing the raspberry bushes by the front door. The circle of life.

I hate dead things.

It's been nine years now since I lost my Dad to cancer. I place him in the dead things category; he would understand. I held his hand and his heart as he left the world. And still I missed his departure. Where did he go? One moment he was there, and the next I was left with a shell. His heart quieted, and I realized I was holding onto a dead thing. My father was gone.

Strangely I was filled with a certain exhilaration. The same feeling I had when my children arrived from who knows where out of my body. Like I had sampled something raw and real and special. Death is intimate and individual and indescribable just like childbirth. Is this why we quake as we offer each other our condolences?

I thank hospice and my father's bravery for placing death in life so we could share this last experience together. Death is life. I wish we wouldn't all tip toe around it.

When someone comes into the world, we all move over to make room for this new life. When someone leaves the world, we all shift and try to fill in the hole that is left. It never fills. I miss my Dad.

Robert John Marek
May 31, 1944 - March 13, 2001

Mama Mia! Look At Christa! [Krees-ta]

I hope you read that title with the Spanish accent of my high school ballet teacher as I intended. Otherwise, go back and do it again.

Anyway, I am wondering if this could be an alternative mode of transportation for me? We've been watching the snow and ice melt for days, which has been fascinating, but at last we have reached dry pavement so the skateboard fun can began. Wow! These things can roll! Who knew all these years my embarrassing skateboard abilities had to do with equipment, not skills!

It begins with the equipment.

On a cold, snowy afternoon, we took the boys to our downtown skateboard shop to purchase their birthday gifts. As we waited for literally hours as the boys choose components and the boards were assembled, the clerk casually mentioned that skateboarding is the fastest growing sport in America.

Could this be? I think of skateboarding as popular for artsy, punk loner types who graffiti our garage in their spare time. But sure enough, I looked it up online and skateboarding is the third most popular sport right behind football and basketball.

This fact seemed to crystallize my journey into that skateboard shop.

This skateboard purchase was not one taken lightly. Yes, my neighbor warned me skateboards can be the cause of many broken bones, but even that was not my worry. This was my worry - suddenly, this past January, Marek turned EIGHT! GASP! For me, this is the magical number. This is the age when all activities can be easily learned, yet maturity has been reached so the motivation comes from the learner, not the learner's parent. It was time to reflect on - are Geoff and I doing enough to educate and expose our children to life? Are we doing too much?

I do like to compare my own childhood when I ponder the state of our children's lives. Like soccer for example. Well, bad example. Living in the Midwest a long time ago, soccer was nonexistent. But let's transpose that to football. Kids did not learn to play football at age three at a football lesson forty years ago. Instead we hung around our neighborhood (without our parents lurking nearby), until we got bored of calling each other names and organized a game of football or basketball or tetherball. This is how we developed our skill level. By the time we approached real competitive playing in Junior High, we were semi coordinated and knew the gist of the game, and it was obtained with no cost of time or money from our parents.

Does this happen anywhere anymore? Because in my experience everyone is so busy open enrolling their youth and then driving them around to after school activities it is hard for homework to even be completed much rather time for name calling and then the casual games.

Am I just lazy that I don't want to do this? Or will free time allow hobbies and interests to emerge from my kids that might not otherwise?

After much reflection, I think Geoff and I are doing all right for the kids. And here's the truth. I just have a hard time taking my kids seriously even if one is now eight years old. I love my kids, but they are just kids. And if they choose to become the next Tony Hawk or Albert Einstein, that will be from their perseverance and passion - not because I've done much of anything.

So. Let's get back to the skateboard.

After pondering the lack of free youth to play with and the Legos overflowing our household, it seems a simple skateboard was the gift of a lifetime. This is a gift that can be learned and mastered in our backyard at any time all alone. Given the statistics, I guess I'm not alone in coming to this conclusion.

And as I said before, "Wow! These things can roll!"


DISCLAIMER: All Newton children up to now have been provided with swim lesson so they don't drown, soccer lessons so they are not afraid of balls coming at them like their mother, and various free after school programs.

Signs of Spring from the Newton's 7700 Sq. Ft.

Wise Words From a Five-Year Old Boy

"Mom. Do you know how to make yourself really strong?"

"No," I pant.

I am pedaling furiously on my bike, uphill. Remember we live in Colorado? Do mountains come to mind? Behind me is my bike trailer fully loaded with Matilda and piles of food and accessories for a park outing. Am I making myself really strong?

Oscar is struggling a little with this hill also. I can almost see his brain sparking encouragement to himself - I think I can. I think I can. It is our first bike ride of the new year. His answer to his question amazes me.

"You just keep going when your muscles hurt, and pretend that they don't."

"Ah," I think. I must keep this in mind when my husband works until midnight - again, when we are struggling to dig up payroll, when my children are hurting each other, when I miss my Dad, when....

THINGS TO DO: Design A Stuffy

This past weekend the kids began drawing animals and requested a design-a-stuffy day. I love the teamwork involved as we work together to make their ideas three dimensional. I love to bring to life the choices my children make as we muddle through the creation process - colors, shape, fabric texture, leg placement, etc. There are always surprises and unexpected discoveries as to their preferences - if I can listen instead of imposing MY ideas!

Here is Marek's finished stuffy. Please note Marek would not allow me photograph him with it - is he getting too old for public stuffy play? Oscar's will be completed soon. Matilda is still working on circles...


If you are not a sewer, this same project concept could be done with wood, or toilet paper tubes and duck tape, or any other medium that makes it real for you both.

Orange Peels

Tonight Marek was given two dinner choices:

1) Broccoli soup - which I knew he would pass on
2) Potato-green-bean casserole - invented when I was 14 while living in Minnesota (land of all casseroles) - which Marek normally eats.

Instead he opted for a third choice - an orange. Only an orange.

Here are the results:

It seems my dinner rules of late are going to create some very slim, but artistic, children.

(Marek - You may only eat FROM THE DINNER MENU - AT DINNER TIME. You may not serve yourself cereal or cheese quesadilla or peanut butter and jelly or ...!)

A friend of mine told me recently that she doesn't buy any breakfast cereal. Her kids eat eggs, oatmeal, sausage, etc. for breakfast. In the goal to remove prepackaged food from our household, that's inspiring!